


Aches

by coolbinch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, hell yeah, jeanmarco, lemme just say that this is super cliche and cheesy, super cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1711706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolbinch/pseuds/coolbinch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is frustrated and painfully awkward.<br/>Why?<br/>Marco Bodt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aches

Jean doesn’t like emotions. Not at all. They forced him to do weird things like cry and listen to Brand New’s Your Favorite Weapon album, punch walls with a severity rivaling Eren’s and eat pizza until that awful void felt somewhat filled. If there was some ridiculous surgery that removed emotions, Jean would be the first to sign up. They made him feel absolutely miserable and he couldn’t wrap his head around why.

It might be his confusing feelings towards his best friend or the fact that nothing went right in his life.

Probably the latter, he tried to convince himself as he stared at the ceiling late at night.

He tried to convince himself, he really, really did.

Oh, who was he kidding? It was totally his giant crush on his best friend. He was fucking gay for Marco and it was making him absolutely miserable. Sometimes it was the way Marco smiled when he looked at him, or the way he rolled his eyes when Jean told him a terrible joke. It could be his freckles, his eyes, his sweet demeanor or enviable empathy. Marco was absolutely perfect and Jean was lame as hell.

It made it worse that Marco had absolutely no idea.

No matter how many hints Jean tried to drop, Marco remained as clueless as ever.

And it hurt, it really did. To have to watch Marco be this amazing, and not give him a second glance made Jean’s heart ache.

“Which movie do you feel like watching? I rented The Hitchhiker’s Guide today!” squealed Marco, pulling several DVDs out of the shelf under the TV. It was a tradition ever since the second grade for the pair to have a movie marathon every Friday at Marco’s house. They locked themselves in Marco’s room with enough food to feed five people and watched movies till they fell asleep. It was the one event that got Jean through the week.

“We’ve seen that one at least fifteen times already!” Jean grunted, joining Marco on the floor and sifting through his selection of movies. Jean grinned victoriously. “How about Superbad?” He picked up the plastic case and sent Marco a look. Jean watched Marco pout. It made his heart twitch dangerously.

“But we watched that last week! Come on Jeannn” he sang, scooting closer, waving The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in front of Jean. Jean didn’t budge and chose to occupy himself with the pretty shade of red on the walls. Marco sighed.

“Okay, we’ll watch Scott Pilgrim because you like Michael Cera and I like cute comedy.” Marco decides and slips the DVD into the player, taking a seat next to Jean, his knee brushing Jean’s lightly. It’s enough to make Jean’s skin tingle.

“Whatever. “

Every time Jean would hear Marco giggle or sigh he could feel his resolve crumble. He spent so much time building up walls and facades it was exhausting. He wanted nothing more than to turn off the movie and put Marco’s precious attention on HIM. Maybe his cheek. Maybe his lips. Or-or some other sensitive appendage.

Jean felt appalled at his own neediness and craving for attention.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and tried focusing on the movie. No good. Kim Pine’s freckles made him think about other freckles. Wallace Wells made him want to make out with a certain boy. He shoved handful after handful of hot Cheetos into his mouth yet still could not get Marco off his mind. His dumb emotions made him want to jump out of the window out of frustration.

He whimpered and stuck his face into his hands, shame corrupting his frustrations. Jean had several types of frustrations: emotional and sexual. Yet both had to do with Marco.

Marco was right next to him and probably felt absolutely nothing and it made him want to scream. Fuck him.

Literally. And figuratively, too.

When the vegan police came to arrest Todd, Marco doubled over in laughter. He was clutching his stomach and tears escaped from his eyes. At this moment Jean knew it was too much. Something needed to be done. He either needed to tell Marco, his best friend of over ten years, that he was absolutely madly in love with him to the point of insanity, or tell him to never see him again so he could finally find peace and maybe (fingers crossed) get over him. Either way, it was going to be very hard.

After Marco stopped laughing, Jean’s trembling fingers found their way to his shoulder.

“Hey, Marco?” Marco turned his head, smiling warmly when he looked at him. “D’you like anyone?” Jean’s words came out strangled and his voice broke when he mumbled the word “like”. Marco giggled.

“Yeah. I also hit puberty, too.” Marco giggles some more and Jean laughs nervously in spite of himself. He tries harder, his face burning hot.

“Y-yeah, so. What’re they like?” Marco takes a handful of popcorn and puts it in his lap. Jean gulps and waits for an answer.

“Well…” Marco takes a deep breath and looks away. “He… he’s really good-looking and makes me laugh. He’s cool and smart. Uh, I-um.” It was the first time Marco had ever mentioned anything about liking guys, and Jean desperately wants to let him know that it’s a-okay with him. Better than okay, it’s absolutely great. Totally awesome. As usual, the sentiment is there but the words come out wrong.

“I think that’s cool. You’re cool. Everything’s cool. C-cool.” He says lamely, wanting to bang his head against a wall so hard he forgets everything about this conversation. Marco is delicately crunching popcorn kernels one at a time, his face unreadable.

Jean thinks, the mellow dialogue from the movie serving as a great backdrop for thought. If Jean tells him, pours out his heart, the only possible outcomes are these:

  1.      Marco rejects him. The rest of his life is awkward.
  2.      Marco thinks he’s tolerable enough to date. Jean is happy.
  3.      Marco is secretly an alien and flies off in a silver spaceship. Jean cries.



Jean understands that Marco is not a bad person and would never humiliate him. He seems to be playing for the same team in some sense, so he probably wouldn’t be disgusted. Then again, Jean thinks with a twinge of sadness, he’s fucking lame as hell. The guy Marco likes is probably some prince-like angel with black hair and green eyes and abs more defined than Levi’s.

 _No, Jean_. He scolds himself. _Stop losing confidence. You can totally do this! Marco never judged you when you admitted you jerked off to some girl’s hair, so why would he judge you now?_  He took a deep breath and tried to summon as much dormant courage that he possibly could. He can feel his fingers quiver with nerves. Marco is watching the movie, utterly absorbed with Gideon’s hideous hairstyle.

“Hey, Marco?” His hands once again navigate the air to reach Marco’s shoulder. This time, Marco is biting his lip and in the dim light of Marco’s room, Jean can see that his dark eyes are sad. Jean’s breath hitches. _Don’t back out now, you stupid idiot. For once in your life, stop being so damn lame_. Suddenly, an idea floats into Jean’s whirring mind.

“What would you do… if I told you that I’m, like, totally in lesbians with you.” Marco’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak. It takes a while and the stretched silence is making Jean’s heart pound.

“Jean, don’t say something you don’t mean.”

“Okay, I-I-I-I-I’m in love with you.” His voice decrescendos to a faint whisper but Marco heard everything.

“Oh my god, Jean. I always thought this was one-sided. Oh my fuck- Wow. I uh, I like you, too. Er, well, l-love, I think. I’m really just kind of- I-uh, well,” and Jean realizes what to do and does it before Marco can make things more embarrassing than they need to be. He kisses him slowly.

Their shoulders are hugging and their eyes are closed. Jean feels like his heart could combust at any moment. Jean is confused because it hurts to be close to Marco, but hurts more when he’s not. Their lips move in sync. Jean leans in closer, accidentally sending his hand straight into a piece of cold pizza. He doesn’t mind because now Marco’s soft hands are on his cheeks.

Eventually they separate for a bit of air, but the atmosphere isn’t as awkward as they’d expected. Jean’s sure the movie is over but he can’t bring himself to care. His mind is still all filled with Marco. And the way Marco makes him feel. Huh, he thought that if he finally got that load off his chest, the ache would subside. It didn’t and once again, Jean feels confused.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Marco murmurs, his fingers searching for Jean’s. He continues, laughing a bit,“I-I never thought you’d be the one to say it first, though.” Jean’s eyes meet Marco’s.

“But…you described the guy you like as smart, cool, and good-looking. And, uh, I’m none of those things.” Marco shakes his head violently.

“No, no. Shush.” Jean giggles and flushes. He’s so embarrassed he wants to disappear.

“Ugh, Marco, I’m lame. Y-you’re so adorable I kind of want to make you cakes n’ shit, but also like-uh, suck you off when you have a bad day. And-uh, like-“ Marco presses a thin finger over his lips. Jean whimpers and Marco stares at him with diluted pupils. Jean wants to yell.

“Shhh. Less talking, more doing.” Once again, their lips meet sloppily with desperation, and once again Jean feels like butterflies are trying to force themselves out of his chest.

Jean thinks he can deal with this now. The ache is still there, but the way it makes him feel is quite doable. And the idea of Marco experiencing this same ache makes his ache hurt all the more.

**Author's Note:**

> Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is my shit. This is so cliche i want to die.  
> also brand new's your favorite weapon album is notoriously famous for being about a bad breakup.  
> please don't hate me. (also i should probably be working on that tattoo shop au but i'm procrastinating with this.)  
> [tumblr](http://bitch-heichou.tumblr.com/)


End file.
